Ah, the naive plans of the inexperienced blogger…

First, there was my hope to do a series of “check out Chicago” posts with the rest of my free time before the term started, as I ran around to the zoo, to various new neighborhoods (that is, new for me) to buy a used bike (from A Nearly New Shop, nicely outfitted with lock and rack from the women-owned-and-managed Uptown Bikes), the Shedd Aquarium, etc.; hopes for covering various environmental issues before I was tied up with classes; ditto for several other news items; followed by my complete failure to cover the debate around the legislation for the detainee bill last week (the passage of which left me somewhat depressed and even more unable to blog.)

Of course, none of this was aided by the fact that the tremendous storm here in Chicago last night left us completely without internet all evening, and without power most of today. It came back on sometime around 5pm. I feel it necessary to say that this was the most amazing bit of weather I have thus far experienced. I watched walls of water carried along by the wind down the alley in the back of our place whip constantly into the buildings at the alley’s end, as branches snapped off trees and lightning constantly flickered on all points of the horizon. A tree in our courtyard was entirely uprooted. Walking around Hyde Park this morning, there was a definite sadness in seeing how many trees were completely destroyed by the storm. There were trucks on campus all day today churning into mulch the huge pieces of the fallen trees from the quads. Jackson Park is a mess; one of the playgrounds looks to have been hit by more than one tree. I haven’t even ventured out to the Point to see what the damage is like there; I’m worried that the trees I just saw this past weekend beginning to glow in their reds and yellows are knocked down, about to be (maybe already?) torn into bits.

Talk of the weather is not just an excuse for my lack of writing, or just diversionary. I wanted to mention it because I think last night’s storm truly impressed upon me a sense of awe, and the sight of its effects this morning – and throughout the day, as one constantly stumbled upon sites of destruction – caused real sorrow, at the loss of the dignity and beauty of each tree.

I feel as though I’ve often noticed that it’s when events mean the most to me, when the experience is most cutting or most uplifting, that I have the most trouble expressing them; that sometimes, the emotion is enough to sweep me along so that I don’t even take the time to try. Which is troubling, I feel, given that such experiences are more important to communicate, more important to share, and more worthwhile to discuss. So my ability to post about inane drivel (or perhaps not inane, but say, capable of causing some righteous indignation while yet still distant from me) and not the things that truly tear me up or even truly cause me joy, seems to be a failing on my part. I hope to work to amend this – to not be immobilized when the most important things are happening. You few persons who read regularly, call me out on this; ask me why I have not discussed that which you know is going on in the world and which you know I care about, or when it happens, why my writing is nothing but links to other blogs. I feel we need to go beyond the blog-as-information-provider (or information overload), or beyond the blog-as-indignation-igniter; that we need to add some real emotional depth, thoughtful commentary, actual analysis, and not merely “this is cool” or “man, this makes me mad!” I certainly feel very inadequate to the task; and I wonder if the real truth is that none of us has the depth required anymore to take the world on in a truly insightful manner. But in response to this negative hypothesis, I offer another challenge – whom do you see writing in a way that you feel fits this description? Whom do you see as emotionally open and honest in their writing? Who takes on problems and really analyzes them, perhaps not just describing them as problems, but offering solutions? Please share!

Of course, given my previous intentions and their outcomes (as mentioned above) we shall see how my attempts at this go. Perhaps this is just more amateurish hopefulness; but then again, maybe it will prove fruitful. Perhaps sometime soon I will be adequately able to describe to those who do not instinctively feel it, why the loss of a tree is so striking; perhaps I will be able to converse with others in a form beyond sarcastic comments,about how not merely our president, but apparently our entire legislative branch, has proven themselves willing to strip other humans of their humanity for the personal political gain. I hope so – because at this point, I don’t know many others who are.